Once Upon A Time....

Today, I begin our story. If you didn’t read my post from yesterday this makes absolutely no sense to you. You can go back and catch up if you like. But if you want to just jump right in...come on!

In honor of our upcoming 25th wedding anniversary, I am going to share our story. A love story that spans over a quarter of a century and shares all the growing and learning in our marriage. Some things will be boring for you, some things will sound vaguely familiar, and some things, I pray, will inspire you to know that marriage is a huge blessing in spite of our human selves. This is our journey of 25 years of walking this blessing, making mistakes along the way, but praising God that we get to walk it together.

So, if you’re ready, grab your cup of coffee and join me for a walk down memory lane!

Once upon a time.......JUST KIDDING!

Seriously, here is how it all began....

From the time I was a young girl I couldn't wait to grow up, meet Prince Charming, get married, have kids, and live happily ever after. You know, the whole Cinderella fairy tale right? I guess I wasn't a whole lot different from other girls my age. That was the dream! My friends and I used to play wedding on the playground in elementary school and would find some poor little boys in our class to stand in as our grooms. Oh, those crazy elementary years and poor unsuspecting souls. Bless!

Well, my dream did come true and I am happy to say that I am still living my dream with my Prince Charming complete with a castle in Pender County. Okay, it's really just a regular old house but it's our "castle" nonetheless. 😉Though things weren't always a storybook tale, they were indeed part of our story so I guess I will start at the beginning. That hot summer day at Independence Mall when I met my prince!

Soon after I turned 16, it was time to find my first job. On July 21, 1989, I began working for a little company you may have heard of....Chick-fil-A. Lol! It was perfect for me. No Sundays and very flexible with my school and cheerleading activities. Two of my sisters had previously worked there and it just became a family thing. I remember walking in that first day nervous that I was entering the workforce. The owner, Mr. Skelton, introduced me to the other employees and I remember, like it was yesterday, this handsome guy standing over the fryer putting in a fresh batch of chicken nuggets. As romantic as this all sounds, I hate to bust the "Cupid bubble" and admit that it was not love at first sight. He was just a nice guy cooking chicken who so happened to be my new manager.

I loved working at Chick-fil-A! The majority of the staff were teens or college students and a couple of them went to school with me. We had a great time working! Even those long open to close Saturdays were a lot of fun in spite of the crazy lunch hour mall crowd. After working a couple of weeks, Matt and I became pretty good friends. But dating did not really enter our minds because, well, he was six years older than me. Yes, that's correct! I was 16 and he was 22. Now, once you pick your chin up off the floor, I will finish this beautiful story. 😂

One of my close friends (Shelly) noticed how great Matt and I got along and enjoyed being together. She decided to take matters into her own hands by convincing Matt to ask me out. He, of course, was concerned about our age difference but she, so slyly, reminded him that when he was old and gray, I would still be young and beautiful. Ha! I guess that did the trick because he did ask me out! I had dated a couple of guys before Matt but neither fit the standard I had set for dating. Maybe that sounds crazy to you but I didn't want to date a guy that I couldn't see myself married to one day. By that, what I mean is, I looked for certain qualities in a guy before I would date him. First and foremost, was he a believer and follower of Jesus? Yes, I had a long list but those things were important to me and the more I got to know Matt, the more it became evident that he possessed all those qualities. Did I expect perfection? Of course not. I am nowhere near perfect myself. But I looked for someone who was seeking the same things that I was. 

So now came the tough part.....asking my dad if this 22-year-old man could take his 16-year-old daughter out on a date. But I did what any girl scared to ask her daddy would do…. I asked my mom first. 😬 I came home from work all excited to tell my mom about this guy at work who asked me out and she was sharing in my excitement. I told her that he was so nice, funny, good looking, a Christian, with godly parents, and that he even went to a Baptist church. She was smiling cheerily and then I lowered the BOOM. I said,

"Oh, by the way, he is 22 and will you ask dad for me?"

The look on my mom's face was priceless! Lol! She, in her “always-calm manner”, said that she would ask him but was probably about to pass out. 

After work that Friday night, my dad agreed to meet Matt and invited him over to the house. So, we enter my home in our greasy uniforms reeking of fried chicken and the house is full of people. My sisters, my brother and their spouses just so happened to be there that night. Huh! Big coincidence? I don't think so. My mom and dad introduced themselves and then took us into the living room. The LIVING ROOM! We never went in there! That place was formal with fancy furniture and just shouted "INTIMIDATION". Anyway, for an hour my dad asked Matt questions as my mom and I sat quietly listening to Matt answer with perfect ease. He was well spoken and confident about what he was going to do with his life and assured my dad that he would be a perfect gentleman to his daughter. Okay, it was finally over and I was waiting for my dad to say "no", but my dad shook Matt's hand and told us to have a good time on our date.

What?!?!?!? He said, "YES"?

I think I heard thumps coming from the other room that occupied all my siblings with their ears, I'm sure, stuck to the walls as they eavesdropped. Lol! We were all in shock that my dad was allowing this date.

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As a side note....my dad told me years later (after we were married) that he never intended to allow me to go out with Matt. I mean the age difference was not something that made good sense. He said he invited him over that night so he could see what kind of 22-year-old man wanted to date his 16-year-old daughter. Lol! Yikes!😳

But after he spent time with Matt, he could tell that Matt's intentions were pure and he was so impressed with him and his character! I am so thankful my parents trusted my judgment! 

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Well, the next Saturday, August 26, 1989, was our big date! I was so excited! I bought a new outfit (my favorite color…purple) and made sure that my hair was done just right. Now, remember, this was the 80s so “just right” hair was big and full of hairspray. Don’t judge! Now that you have that visual in your mind let me continue….

I was so nervous as I waited for Matt's little red Ford Festiva to pull into the driveway. I think my heart was beating through my brand new purple and black polka dotted shirt. He arrived right on time and escorted me to his car. He opened the car door for me and was such the perfect gentleman. We had a wonderful time over dinner at Rock-ola Café. He was so easy to talk to and always carried the conversation.  After dinner, we went back to my house to play a game of pool on our family pool table. It was the perfect date! We laughed, talked, and enjoyed a fun evening. Of course, I could hardly go to sleep that night. I was totally smitten and knew deep in my heart that he was the one for me.

Unfortunately, we didn't have a second date anytime soon after. Though we remained close friends, it was a few months of Matt soul searching and me patiently waiting. You see, Matt was about to graduate from college and I was still a junior high school. Everything about our situation seemed as though we should go separate ways and we almost headed that way. But both of us knew deep down that God had plans for us beyond what we expected. 

It was New Year's Eve 1989 (after the big snow storm of ’89), as Matt returned from a scuba diving trip down in the Florida Keys with a friend, that we realized that we were meant to be together. It was a Sunday afternoon and I was heading to the mall to do a little retail therapy since I had not heard anything from Matt returning from his trip. As I got out of my car, I spotted Matt and his friend coming toward me through the parking lot. (Key the swelling romantic music and picture in slow motion as we walked towards each other…just kidding!) 

Matt walked right up to me, hugged me tightly, and told me he had missed me. He invited me over to his family's house after church that night for New Year’s Eve and from that point on, we were inseparable. We knew that God had plans for us and we decided to give this relationship a try. He told me that during that trip away, he felt as though God was doing a work in his heart about us.

Saying "yes" to our relationship when it didn't make a lot of sense to others was the beginning of a lifetime together of saying "yes" to God in whatever he called us to do. Over our 27 total years together, we have boldly said, "yes" to God's calling many times, yet feeling alone in our endeavor of obedience to Him. From the outside, things didn't always make sense and we didn't have all the answers but, together, we trusted the ONE who did and had faith that He would direct our path. We have had our share of ups and downs. We have weathered many storms and celebrated many victories. We have experienced the struggle of being disobedient to God and we have found comfort and peace being in the center of his will. Through it all, we have grown closer together and closer to our God. We have recognized that challenges are inevitable but that joy can remain. A relationship with God at the center is so much sweeter and not a day goes by that I don't praise my Heavenly Father for navigating our paths and granting us this most beautiful blessing of marriage! 

Though our marriage is not perfect, as we are not, our marriage is a continual work-in-progress that is grounded in faith, trust, forgiveness, lots of grace, and abounding love. Every day is an adventure through God's will and I am so incredibly blessed to be able to journey on with my love!

"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love. "

1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 13 (NLT)

So, there it is. The beginning of our story. Long... I know. But wanting to remember every part because, well, though not the greatest love story ever told, ours is definitely my favorite. 😉

If you’re up for more, join me tomorrow morning for part 2!