Today, I begin our story. If you
didn’t read my post from yesterday this makes no sense to you. Ha! But if you
are just joining, in honor of my upcoming 22nd wedding anniversary,
I am going to share our story. A love story that spans a couple of decades and
shares all the growing and learning in our marriage. Some things will be boring
for you, some things will sound vaguely familiar, and some things, I pray, will
inspire you to know that marriage is a huge blessing in spite of our human
selves. Lol! This is our journey of 22 years of walking this blessing, making
mistakes along the way, but praising God that we get to walk it together.
So, if you’re ready, grab your cup of
coffee and join me for a walk down memory lane!
Once upon a time.......JUST KIDDING!
Seriously, here is how it all began....
From the time I was a young girl I
couldn't wait to grow up, meet Prince Charming, get married, have kids, and
live happily ever after. I guess I wasn't a whole lot different from other
girls my age. That was the dream! My friends and I used to play wedding on the
playground in elementary school and would find some poor little boys in our
class to stand in as our grooms. Oh, those crazy elementary years and poor
unsuspecting souls. Haha!
Well, my dream did come true and I am
happy to say that I am still living my dream with my Prince Charming! Though
things weren't always a storybook tale, they were indeed part of our story so I
guess I will start at the beginning. That hot summer day at Independence Mall
when I met my Prince!
Soon after I turned 16, it was time
to find my first job. So the summer after my sophomore year I got a job at a
wonderful Christian company that was very good to young people by working
around school and sports schedules and just so happened to be closed on Sunday.
It was a perfect job! On July 21, 1989, I began working for a little company
you may have heard of....Chick-fil-A. Lol! Two of my sisters had previously
worked there and it just became a family thing. I remember walking in that
first day nervous that I was entering the workforce. The owner, Mr. Skelton,
introduced me to the other employees and I remember, like it was yesterday, my
handsome prince standing over the fryer putting in a fresh batch of chicken
nuggets. As romantic as this all sounds, I hate to bust the "Cupid
bubble" and admit that it was not love at first sight. Lol! He was just a
nice guy cooking chicken who so happened to be my new manager.
I loved working at Chick-fil-A! The
majority of the staff were teens or college students and a couple of them went
to school with me. We had a great time working! Even those long open to close
Saturdays were a lot of fun in spite of the crazy lunch hour mall crowd. After
working a couple of weeks, Matt and I became pretty good friends. But dating
did not really enter our minds because, well, he was six years older than me.
Yes, that's correct! I was 16 and he was 22. Now, once you pick your chin up
off the floor, I will finish this beautiful story. Haha!
One of my close friends noticed the
spark Matt and I had for each other and decided to take matters into her own
hands by convincing Matt to ask me out. He, of course, was concerned about our
age difference but she, so slyly, reminded him that when he was old and gray, I
would still be young and beautiful. Hahaha! I guess that did the trick because
he did ask me out! Lol! I had dated a couple of guys before Matt but I had a
standard that I always stuck to. I would never date a guy that I couldn't see
myself married to one day. By that, what I mean is, I looked for certain
qualities in a guy before I would date him. Qualities such as, is he a born
again believer in Jesus Christ? Is he active in his church? Does he respect and
honor his parents? Does he respect authority? Does he drink or smoke? Is he
respectful of other people? I know it is a long list but those things were
important to me and the more I got to know Matt, the more it became evident
that he possessed all those qualities.
So now came the tough part.....asking
my dad if this 22-year-old man could take his 16-year-old daughter out on a
date. If any of you reading this know my dad, you are probably wondering how we
ever got together, or better yet, how Matt is still alive today. ;) But I did
what any girl scared of her daddy would do…. I asked my mom first. Haha! I came
home from work all excited to tell my mom about this guy at work who asked me
out and she was sharing in my excitement. I told her that he was so nice,
funny, good looking, a Christian, with godly parents, and that he even went to
a Baptist church. She was smiling cheerily and then I lowered the BOOM. I said,
"Oh, by the way, he is 22 and
will you ask dad for me?"
The look on my mom's face was
priceless! Lol! She, in her “always-calm manner”, said that she would ask him.
After work that Friday night, my dad
agreed to meet Matt and invited him over to the house. So, we enter my home in
our greasy uniforms reeking of fried chicken and the house is full of people.
My sisters, my brother and their spouses just so happened to be there that night.
Huh! Big coincidence? NOT! My mom and dad introduced themselves and then take
us into the living room. The LIVING ROOM! We never went in there! That place
was formal with fancy furniture and just shouted "INTIMIDATION".
Anyway, for an hour my dad asked Matt questions as my mom and I sat quietly
listening to Matt answer with perfect ease. He was well spoken and confident
about what he was going to do with his life and assured my dad that he would be
a perfect gentleman to his daughter. Okay, it was finally over and I was
waiting for my dad to say "no", but my dad shook Matt's hand and told
us to have a good time on our date.
What?!?!?!? He said, "YES"?
I think I heard thumps coming from
the other room that occupied all my siblings with their ears, I'm sure, stuck
to the walls as they eavesdropped. Lol! We were all in shock that my dad was
allowing this date.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(As a side note....my dad told me
years later (after we were married) that he never intended to allow me to go
out with Matt. He said he invited him over that night so he could see what kind
of pervert 22-year-old man wanted to date his 16-year-old daughter. Lol! Yikes!
But after he spent time with Matt, he
could tell that Matt's intentions were pure and he was so impressed with him
and his character! I am so thankful my parents had trust in my judgment!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, the next Saturday, on August
26, 1989, was our big date! I was so excited! I bought a new outfit (my
favorite color…purple) and made sure that my hair was done just right. Now,
remember, this was the 80s so “just right” hair was big and full of hairspray.
Don’t’ judge! Ha! Now that you have that visual in your mind let me continue….
I was so nervous as I waited for
Matt's little red Ford Festiva to pull into the driveway. I think my heart was
beating through my brand new purple and black polka dotted shirt. He arrived
right on time and escorted me to his car. He opened the car door for me and was
such the perfect gentleman. We had a wonderful time over dinner at Rock-ola
Café. He was so easy to talk to and always carried the conversation. After dinner, we went back to my house
to play a game of pool on our family pool table. It was the perfect date! We
laughed, talked, and enjoyed a fun evening. Of course, I could hardly go to
sleep that night. I was totally smitten and knew deep in my heart that he was
the one for me.
Unfortunately, we didn't have a
second date anytime soon after. Though we remained close friends, it was a few
months of Matt soul searching and me patiently waiting. You see, Matt was about
to graduate from college and I was still a junior high school. Everything about
our situation seemed as though we should go separate ways and we almost headed
that way but both of us knew deep down that God had plans for us beyond what we
expected. It was New Year's Eve 1989 (after the big snow storm of ’89), as Matt
returned from a scuba diving trip down in the Florida Keys with a friend, that
we realized that we were meant to be together. It was a Sunday afternoon and I
was heading to the mall to do a little retail therapy since I had not heard anything from Matt returning from his trip. As I got out of my car I spotted
Matt and his friend coming toward me through the parking lot. (Key the
beautiful music and picture in slow motion as we walked towards each other…just
kidding!) Matt walked right up to me, hugged me tightly, and told me he had
missed me and that he couldn’t wait to see me. He invited me over to his house
after church that Sunday night for New Year’s Eve and from that point on, we
were inseparable. We knew that God had plans for us and we decided to give this
relationship a try. He told me that during that trip away, he felt as though
God was doing a work in his heart about us.
Saying "yes" to our
relationship when it didn't make a lot of sense to others was the beginning of
a lifetime together of saying "yes" to God in whatever he called us
to do. Over our 24 years together, we have boldly said, "yes" to
God's calling many times, yet feeling alone in our endeavor of obedience to
Him. From the outside, things didn't always make sense and we didn't have all
the answers but, together, we trusted the ONE who did and had faith that He
would direct our path. We have had our share of ups and downs. We have
weathered many storms and celebrated many victories. We have experienced the
struggle of being disobedient to God and we have enjoyed the peace of being in
the center of his will. Through it all, we have grown closer together and closer
to our God. We have recognized that challenges are inevitable but that joy can
remain. A relationship with God at the center is so much sweeter and not a day
goes by that I don't praise my Heavenly Father for navigating our paths and
granting us this most beautiful blessing of marriage! Though our marriage is
not perfect, as we are not, our marriage is a continual work-in-progress that
is grounded in faith, trust, forgiveness, grace, and lots of love. Every day is
an adventure through God's will and I am so incredibly blessed to be able to
journey on with my love!
"Love is patient
and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand
its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It
does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love
never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every
circumstance. Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the
greatest of these is love. "
1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 13 (NLT)
So, if you’re not totally bored, join me tomorrow morning
for more of the story!
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