It is hard to believe that I am coming up on my 20th anniversary of graduating high school! Whew, just saying that makes me feel old! Haha! I took a little walk down memory lane recently and started flipping through my senior yearbook. I had a good laugh as I relived all those memories. I also shared a few tears as I remembered 2 very special friends that have both gone to be with the Lord leaving behind their husbands and small children. We had a small graduating class of 15 so we were all very close. I was sharing with my kids all the wonderful memories we had and also giving them some tips because they now have some of the same teachers that I had when I was there. Oh, the joys of school!
As I read through my “last will & testament” from my senior yearbook, I got a big smile on my face. You see, I am a planner, and I knew my senior year just what direction I felt the Lord was leading me and I had no problem putting that in print. To some of you this may come as a surprise, but, Matt & I became engaged the first week of my senior year and we knew without a shadow of a doubt that God intended for us to be husband and wife. Of course, our wedding would not come for another year and a half, but we knew it would come. So, my “last will and testament” declared what my plans were. We also, as seniors, documented where we thought we would be in 5 years, 10 years, etc. That was a lot of fun looking ahead and making all our predictions. My prediction was that in 10 years, I would be married to Matt and have 3 kids. I also loved working with children and doing accounting but chose my college major in accounting because I knew I would have my own children one day and decided to go that route. Well, today, 20 years later, I am still married to Matt, have 3 kids, work at a preschool where I get to do accounting as well! How great is that!
I am by no means saying that can I see the future. I believed, and still believe, that God is in charge of my future, but it is also my belief that we are to have a plan.
Proverbs 16:9 “A man’s heart plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps.”
My senior year was a turning point in my life! I recommitted my life to the Lord that year and really looked to the Lord for direction and discernment. I made decisions that some looked at as “crazy”, but God’s will for my life was my focus and I desired a life that honored and glorified him and him alone.
Though I had a “plan”, I see how God was really directing my steps. Matt & I did get married 9 months after I graduated from high school and we began living a beautiful life as a married couple. I finished college, got a job working in accounting and then it was time to start a family. Everything was going according to this master plan of mine, but the steps to that plan began to take a different path. When I look at the difficult steps that encountered my path, I can see those opportunities that God had for us to draw closer to him. These painful, but oh so precious, challenges that came drove our marriage into a place that made us even more dependent and thankful to our God. Never in “my” plan did infertility and miscarriage have a place, but there it was. Painful and heart-wrenching, but such a growing experience that brought me to the very throne of God to see his comfort and healing in ways I had never experienced. God brought us through and as we welcomed our 2 blessings, Ben & Callie, we decided that we were done. God blessed us with 2 and we were thankful and DONE! Well, guess what, God was not done. He opened our hearts to adoption and directed our paths in that way. Through that adoption to our precious Caleb, he reminded us of his great and perfect love as he adopted us as his children.
Ephesians 1:5 “In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will”
Through the blessing of my 3 children, God brought with each one of them, a special attribute to grow me into a deeper relationship with him. After years of infertility and miscarriage, God blessed us with Ben and through that process God brought healing. God worked in my life through that very difficult circumstance and healing came not only physically, but spiritually as well. When Callie entered our home without years of doctors and medication, God brought hope that not everything in life had to be hard. When Caleb came into our home, God strengthened our faith. We, in obedience, took a step out of faith and God carried us all the way. Our faith was strengthened in a mighty way. Though 3 kids were part of “my” plan, God had bigger plans and used each one of them to grow me in my trust of him and brought healing, hope, and faith! Only my God can do such amazing things!
God has shown me that having a plan is great, but he is in control of my destiny. He is the “Master” planner! I trust the Lord to know what was and is best for me and I will continue to look to him for direction in my plans. When the plans we make don’t exactly take the path we think, do we still have that complete trust in him?
When life’s challenges arise, will that trust waiver? Or will I still trust him completely because I know from experience he loves me and knows what is best for me? Even now as I type this, there are challenges in front of me. Were these challenges part of “my” plan? Absolutely not! But as God’s Word tells me;
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
What comfort I have in his Word! What I learned my senior year of high school is right here in front of me. God loves me and his desire is to prosper me. My love for him has grown so much over these last 20 years. It took the challenges to really know his love and I am so grateful to him for that. So I trust him completely through the joys and the difficulties because he is God and I am NOT!
A verse that became so special to me as an 18-year-old senior and is still so sweet now is;
Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
This week as you go over your plans, remember that God directs your steps. It is only in his steps that spiritual growth happens and love becomes deeper and sweeter than ever!
Blessings~
Allison
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