As soon as you read the title of this blog post I’m sure the
rest of that song popped in your head, right?
It did mine as well. Hahaha! Of
course singing that song is a lot better than what I was doing yesterday. I was actually living out that song. Yes, I’m not proud to say that I threw my own
little party yesterday…. that’s right, a pity party. Anyone else ever thrown one of those parties? Mine was an all out party for sure. Fully equipped with party favors and a DJ
singing terribly depressing songs. What
was the reason for this party? There was
absolutely no reason for this party other than the fact that I made the
terrible choice to sulk in all the petty things that did not go my way. Things that, on this side of eternity, are of no
significance whatsoever! Oh, now I am really airing my dirty laundry. But, yes, I admit to throwing a party that
even I did not enjoy attending.
As I laid down last night, the shame I felt from my self-inflicted
party disaster kept going through my throbbing temples and I had to just pray
that God would forgive me. You see, God
allowed me the beauty of waking up yesterday with a choice to give him praise
or rob him of all the glory that he deserved.
I chose the latter. What a lump
that gives me right now in my throat! I
chose to focus on things that I will probably not even remember a few months
from now. I chose the negative instead of focusing on all the vast blessings
from my Jehovah-Jireh!
I’ve been reading today about the Israelite people as Moses
led them through some pretty trying circumstances. Each time that God provided for them they
praised him and then moments later began to grumble and complain when they
didn’t have what they wanted. First, God
helped them flee from Egypt out of Pharaoh’s hand. That alone would give them
reason to praise but as soon as they reached the Red Sea and it looked as
though the Egyptians were going to annihilate them they began complaining. So God
parted the sea and they crossed on dry land.
They started to put their trust in God and sing, BUT…that was
short-lived as well. They then went to
the Desert of Shur and when they finally found water it was bitter. What did they do? Oh, yes, they grumbled and
complained. Their trust in God was not
as secure as they thought. There again,
God provided just an old branch in the water to make it sweet for them. Then they were on to Elim and again their bellyaching
sprang up to Moses and Aaron. They were
hungry! What did God do? He provided
them manna from heaven. Sweet manna raining down from heaven! Surely that would quiet them down, right? Not
so much! They get to the border of
Canaan and what happens, that’s right…more complaining to the point that Moses
thinks they are ready to stone him. I
love what Moses says in Exodus 17:4 “Then Moses cried out to the Lord, “What am I to
do with these people?”
Hahaha! I love it! I can almost
hear him now. Actually, I think I have
cried that out to the Lord over my children at times. Anyway, God again provides for them when
Moses struck the rock and water began to flow.
I’m not going to continue the entire story of the Israelite
people because I really want you to read their incredible adventure for yourself, but the point is that no
matter how many times the Lord blessed them, they still grumbled and
complained. Their own little pity-party,
if you will. You see, their faith and
trust wavered and they didn’t see the bigger picture.
What a slap in my own face!
No matter how many times the Lord blessed me yesterday, I still
grumbled and complained. Ouch! It hurts to be confronted with my own
sin. But, oh so necessary to come to a
place of repentance and see the absolutely wonderful blessings that God bestows
on me every day! His blessings on me are
at every glance of my eye and HE deserves so much praise and glory! The party’s over and I failed him, as I have
done so many times in my life. But each time his abounding grace covers my failure
and his loving arms wrap around me and draw me back to him. So unworthy am I of all that he does for me
and again today, I am a woman in awe of his unfathomable love!
“My flesh and my
heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.”
Psalm 73:26
A work in progress…..Allison
